We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
