Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
