how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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