I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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