she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
