My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Vodka?
Forever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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