Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
