it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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