Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
