i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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