I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
