apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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