i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
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