Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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