I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
