Your tits are I can't wait for
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
