I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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