Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
