Ambien. No doubt about it.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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