You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
