last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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