i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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