Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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