Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
