marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
