were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
