..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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