Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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