he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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