No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We had sex on a dog bed..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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