I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
