I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize