HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
