i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
