Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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