Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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