Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
