I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
50% drunk capacity currently
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
