Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
