I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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