Fine. I'll sleep in my office
from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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