next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
