threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize