he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
