wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
