I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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