If that was your dad, he is hot
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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