come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
