at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i need some magic done to my vagina
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
