I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
