Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
