The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
