Acid is not a monday night drug
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
