i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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