yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
