Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize