yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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