Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
