WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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